every nights another story

so i changed blogs...go now.
http://cassielove56.blogspot.com/

i love you all, so come with me!!!

i find myself back to the start. back, to the place where i had no idea what would happen next in my life.
my mind works 24/7, i can hear the wheels turning. I can see in the distant a few different scenarios, each one i am extremely happy. so which do i pick?
dont get me wrong, im happy now, but what if there is another route out there that will make me happier? isnt everyones goal in life to just be happy? if it isnt, then it should be, but what point is it where you know that you are the happiest you can be?
i guess im just talking nonsense, something i have found myself doing a lot lately. i wish i could be in 3, maybe even 4, places at once. i think then id be happiest.


god, im so unrealistic.

Leaving on that said "Jet Plane" you hear in many songs in about 4 hours. I cant wait, actually, but i am going to miss sf for the time being.

i cant really concentrate because im listening to GB on my NEW ipod. loves it.

vegas: im coming on monday!!!!
chico: im coming on thursday!!

be excited.

"what the hell can you do my friend in this place that your call your town"

So the other day I was crossed with this beautiful man on the bus.. I was alone sipping on my starbucks coffee ordered 10 minutes earlier, and realized that its time for change. I started contemplating my life thus far, and i realized that i would really like to have a boyfriend.. therefore, i got the nerve to go up and ask him out to dinner on valentines day.

Not only did he completely reject me, he told me that he strictly dates one legged prostitutes and that i simply didnt fit that category. At least in his eyes.

I was determined to get with him, so i wrote down my number and told him to call me within the next couple of days for a "treat." Being every and any man, i knew he couldnt turn that down. I called my plastic surgeon and asked for a leg replacement. he wondered why i would want such a procedure and i told him that its all the rage in San Francisco, and without question he obliged to my request.

I used up all the student loans that i inherited for my leg replacement, and on top of that i bought myself a new stripper outfit, boots and all.. or.. err.. boot.

He finally called me the next day after my procedure and i told him to meet me at Childrens Hospital (I lied about my age to the hospital because kids get surgery for cheaper) He was curious and asked, "is something wrong?" and i replied "yes, you're brother got hit by a car" (Just so he would rush right over)

Within the next 20 minutes he was by my bedside, and the look on his face was priceless. I knew right then and there that he fell for my one-legged, hot and sexy look. When i opened my arms to him, he shuddered and looked down at my remaining leg. i asked him what was wrong, and he was furious that i lied about his little brother.. i told him not to worry and to just stroke my leg, (i figured thats what he wanted) and instead, he punched me in the face and spit in my eye and removed the mini axe from his pocked and chopped my other leg off.

moral of this story, i learned that there are way better men out there.

my friend misha i have made here in sf is, to say the least, brilliant. we made her go to an open make and recite one of her slams after a night of hearing her pour her heart out through these pieces of spoken art.

do me a favor and listen for yourself...



thanks guys!!

made my sister a myspace today. probably the most exciting thing i did besides attending a 5 minute "mandatory" floor meeting.

ive now been to all my classes, ive now realized what i had been hoping is true! my classes are amazing. cant wait for this semester.

quite a good turn around eh?

school has begun. back to waking up at a decent hour, back to eating disgusting food, and back to living in a jail cell sized room, with an equally small and disgusting shower. all in all though my life seems to be pretty good. i feel different about this semester, different in a good way, and its making feel more positive about life in general.

i am, however, extremely negative about the situation with my cellphone.

but when all else fails, join greenpeace with a cutie :)

today i went on what you would call a "roadtrip". linda and i ventured up to northern california after our month long visit to our roots in the southern part. We were given orders to use Jason, the electronic gps, but we decided we much rather listen to another jason. :)
as we put my ipod on shuffle, i was very sadden to realize my shuffle hates me, and not only did it play me about 2937282 2pac songs, but it didnt play me ANY john mayer until about song number 1023.

on one hand, the drive wasnt bad at all. on the other, im not rushing to do it tomorrow.

goodnight.

my great grandma died a couple months ago, and we just got around to going through all her stuff and taking things we want. in the process of going through boxes and boxes of useless things she collected i found journals. journals that date back to the late 50s, and have so much detail you cant think to do anything else but sit their in awe of her dedication. these journals are probably the most priceless thing she owned, and sadly no one wanted to read them. i, of course, took them with no questions asked. i cant wait to start reading them, but ive decided im going t wait until summer so i can wrap myself in them with out school being an issue.
also, as i was thinking about journals, i decided when im older i am going to write journals. but, instead of writing whats really going on in my life, i am going to throw myself into a crazy world of fiction. hopefully my kids will find them and trip out on the life their mother "lead".

im currently sinking into an unknown world some like to call "adulthood". im finding it harder, and harder to see evryone the way i have always seen them, and im starting to see who my true friends are. i miss school, i want to go back, especially because all my lovely friends from home (sans a few) have already packed their things and headed beack to their lives. im afraid my life has become this vicious fight with my parents, id give anything to have a typical family no matter how boring that really is.

my mom sucks.
who wants to adopt me?

i havent written in a while, and while im home (bored out of my mind) i might as well give a little update on the happenings of my life.

i have become completely obsessed with the movie atonement, which has led into me being completely obsessed with the book, which has led me to become completely obsessed with the character Robbie, which ultimately leads to my obsession with James Mcavoy. i would go on about this obsession, but ill save you the time.

i got home last friday and i find myself not wanting to go back to sf. i miss everyone, surely, but theres something so refreshing about being around the people i love the most (sans mattie and dawn, but ill see them in about 2 weeks!).

someone just called my house and i completely lost my train of thoughtttttt. fuck that.

christmas was good! i got a digital cameraaaa and singstar (along with a few other things), but the two mentioned have taken up most of my time. that singstar game is absolutely brilliant. cant wait for singstar rap and broadway. hahahaha not.

god damn, david beckham is a beautiful, beautiful man.

So i guess this is going to be my pathetic attempt to try to explain my Thanksgiving break and all that consisted of it. To start at the beginning, i would need to explain the fact that Christian and i discovered we were on the same plane home, which in itself was a blessing because our plane ended up being two hours late. we sat in the airport drooling over Bret Harrison in Reaper, something i found myself doing all last week also. when we finally arrived in sunny san diego, sans the sun since it was 1 in the morning, my dad was there to drive me home. always interesting. to say the least, i didnt see him again all break.

The first weekend "home" was spent in Las vegas. vegas isnt fun when your with your mother, i have decided. its weird having to spend allll day with her,especially after not being with her for months. we had our "big fight" that was almost expected, then we were fine.

tuesday, when i got home, was spent seeing someone i hadnt seen in a loooong time. its amazing how fast you can become friends with someone again, especially with a little help from starbucks, jack, coke, and a jacuzzi.

the rest of the week consisted of; sleepovers, coffee shop shows, smoking sessions, FOOD, family, germans?, movies, and of course friends...lots and lots of friends.

all in all it was a much needed break. cant wait for this semester to be over. hellooo a month off for winter :)

i have decided to start another journal that is strictly to review things such as books, movies, plays, cds, etc.

im hoping this improves my skills i need for my life, and i also hope that it helps people out there with knowing about new things going on. soo leave me some comments on that!

http://cassiesreviews.livejournal.com/.

i know, original yeah?

this past weekend i found myself sitting on a bus in downtown oakland heading to berkley. in front of me were two girls, one passed out and one claiming she was about to cry. to the left of me was a homeless man. Not only was the man homeless, however, but he was the ulterior motive for my friends water works. he was lonely, he was on drugs, he was wet from the rain. all of these things led me to question to myself, what went wrong in his life? I wanted to ask him who mostly. no one starts out alone. where does it get to the point where you have absolutely no one to go to? no one to talk to? if he had had people in his life, like i do, then would he have gotten this way? maybe not, but then i found myself thinking maybe this is what he wanted. maybe this is what he felt was right for him. i feel that way sometimes. I think everything i do is right for me, and even if its not right for me then its something that i feel i need to do at that point of my life. of course its not until im soaking wet at a bus stop that i realize maybe its not right for me.
i do appreciate what i have, but its really not what i need for this stage of my life.

im going to stop now because i lost my train of thought. maybe i should sleep, but i feel like i do my best writing at night. too bad my best is only mediocre.

i have an opinion on religion, on the current happenings of the world, and on the past. but tell me your opinions and mine could change. im open to new ideas, new outlooks on life, and i try everyday to have a positive attitude. i treat everyone with the respect they deserve, and if i dont i apologize. i want this world to be a better place, but i want to achieve that as realistically as possible. false hopes lead to crushed dreams.without love, you wont go far.

so let it in.

its almost 4 in the morning, and i should be sleeping. i find myself doing this a lot. staying up until all hours of the morning, writing random thoughts that come to mind. ive been writng a lot more lately. something about being away from home has made me want to confide in something, without having it say something back to me.

this is starting to feel like home. i think im ready for that.

the shirt i ordered yesterday on threadless.
cant wait for it to get here.

this weekend was insane,to say the least. lets start with saturday, shall we?

lazy saturday, lots of lounging. lounging and smoking. something i have found myself doing a lot in college. why didnt i find this life before?
then we moved into traveling. traveling on the bart, my new best friend. which took us to "the meda". It was here where we visited grandmas, got "examined" at a door, chilled in smoke filled rooms, watched fish, and ate.
the night ended with a smoke out sesh in a childrens tent decorated with strawberry shortcake, and an attempt to master the ouija board.

a little more motivated on sunday. well, motivated enough to go to downtown SF, Richmond, and Berkley, all in a matter of about 10 hours. highlights: mattie, silk lotion, the lady who answered all my prayers with ice cream, family guy that never seems to end, homemade mac and cheese, and beer.

to say i lead a boring life would be a lie. i think ill keep it this way, minus the ouija board. i can do without that.

ive been to this page about 5 times today, always feeling like i have something to say, but when i get here i have no recollection of anything i had just been thinking.

fuck, i did it again.